Just thinking......

With mother's day and father's day coming and going, we have sure had a lot of stuff to think about and have shed many, many tears. We thought about the loss of our beautiful twin boys and how much we miss them each and every day. We thought about what we would give to hold them in our arms and raise them in this mortal life. We thought about who they would become and what they would accomplish throughout their life on earth. We thought about what kind of parents we would become to these beautiful souls. We thought about how we would feel about sleepless nights holding our boys as they need the comfort and care of their parents. We thought about what they would look like...would they get my hair and Ryan's beautiful blue eyes? Would they be athletic and musical all at the same time? We also thought about the blessings and experiences they brought in our lives for those short 16 weeks they were with us. We thought about what they have taught us about life, love and happiness. As we visited them at the cemetary, all these thoughts were at rest when I read this beautiful poem on a headstone of another lost child:

Don't Cry Mommy

Don't cry mommy, if your eyes could only see!

Your heart would be rejoicing to know what's become of us.

A simple veil between us keeps me hidden from your sight

but this side is transparent and we see you day and night.

On your side it may seem undending tears fall from your lash,

from this side it is clear that earthly time is but a flash.

Don't cry mommy.

Please believe your little twins (the name of the child was put here)

we're exactly where we need to be. Right now, right here in heaven.

Oh so much I wish to tell you!

But this much has been revealed...It's that we are yours forever,

because Mommy, we've been sealed.

(Of course the grammar and name has been changed to fit our twins)

This poem has brought me such comfort throughout this time. Although we still shed many tears throughout the days and the nights and we feel a little piece of our heart is always going to be missing and broken, Ryan and I know that they are ours forever. I wouldn't say that as time has gone on it has gotten easier, it has just gotten more bearable. I still get choked up and teary eyed when I see new babies with their moms or hear pregnant women talk about their pregnancies but I know our time will come and when it does, it will be amazing and beautiful to become parents to one of heavenly father's children again. We can't wait. We will always and forever hold a special place in our hearts for our twin boys and will always feel an unending love for them. I wish my hubby a late happy father's day and want him to know that he is going to make an amazing father someday. Until we meet again boys, mommy will try not to cry. (No promises though!)