Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Spiritual Moment

Hey all! Man, I am stinking at posting lately. We have been super busy but I just wanted to let you know we are doing good. Ryan is just finishing up his last final classes before graduation! That's right, I said graduation! It's on the horizon and we couldn't be any happier! He is enjoying his classes and talks about them all the time. I, on the other hand, am still working and working and working. I submitted my application for the MSW program up at USU so now it is just a waiting game to see if I get accepted. I really am excited for this opportunity to go back to school and further my education and do what I actually want to do. So everyone wish me luck! We are happily awaiting the arrival of our newest niece or nephew. Congrats Dave and Ash! Can't wait to meet him or her. They are due in July. We find our what they are having in March I believe. I think it is a boy and I am the only one that thinks that. Everyone else thinks it is a girl. I will prove them all wrong! For those of you wondering, Zander is doing AMAZING! He no longer has any tubes in and is progressing every day and getting better and better. They are saying if he keeps it up, he might be able to come home this weekend for a week or so before he has to go back for some more surgery! We are so grateful for all your prayers, fasting, faith and blessings that have gone to our family and little Zander. They have truly been felt and appreciated. Brock and Alisha are doing good. A little tired I think but we are grateful that Brock was able to come home to be with his family. We are hoping he does not have to go back!
So I just wanted to share a little spiritual experience for ya'll. After this scare with Zander, it has truly strengthened my trust and faith in the Lord. I don't know if we have ever said so many prayers in such little time before. My faith in this church and the belief that families are forever got me through this. I knew Zander was going to be ok because I knew he has more on this earth to do. I knew that he has lives to touch and he has Uncle Ryan and Aunt Meg to spoil him the rest of his life. I always get jumbled for words when I am trying to be serious so pardon my rambling. Ryan and I have grown closer as well as our whole family growing closer and relying on each other for support and love. Zander is a strong-willed, beautiful little boy with a will to survive and beat obstacles that come his way. It has been amazing to visit him in the hospital and watch him fight and grow stronger. When we went and visited him this weekend we walked in the room and he saw Uncle Ryan and he just started smiling and giggling. My heart softened to watch that relationship between those two. This experience has also made me realize that Ryan is going to be one amazing dad! I can't wait for him to be able to hold his own child and protect him or her like he has Zander. It has made me realize the imortance of family and support. It has been mind blowing to see all the support from family and friends during this time. People I have not talked to have sent their well-wishes and love. Zander has had many visitors in the hospital and I know it is because of their love and support that he is getting strong. We went to church this past Sunday at Primary Children's. Two things made this experience amazing. 1. It was only 30 minutes long. 2. I have not felt the spirit that strong in a really long time. As I sat there and sang songs, I looked around to see all the children around me. I watched them as they fidgeted with the I.V.'s they were hooked up to or moved around in their wheelchairs. I watched them as they were fighting for their lives trying to beat the cancer. I watched a three-year old in a wheelchair and neck brace shout "Amen" when the sacrament prayer was over and took his own bread. I watched their smiles brighten their faces when Jesus Christ was mentioned. I watched a little girl lean on her dad's lap because she was so tired from her Chemo or radiation treatments but still had the will to make it to church. As I sat watching this beautiful scene, I thought to myself, why do I complain when I did not get that shirt I wanted or why do I complain that we are not able to go to Hawaii for a vacation? These children are here fighting for their lives wanting to just go home and I am complaining that I can not go on vacation because we don't have enough money! I actually was a little mad at myself after the service for these thoughts that I had had but then after pondering this experience, I knew that I was supposed to go to church that day so I can realize all that I have in my life and all the blessings that have been given to me. I can go get in my car and drive around and go to the movies. I can go for a walk outside and enjoy the beautiful snow. I can go to plays and visit family and go get ice-cream. I have an amazing husband that will do absolutely anything for me. These kids could not because they had been stricken with an illness. I am not ill. I am a healthy person. So why am I complaining? Let me tell you, these kids taught me a lesson that day. I realized how grateful I am for everything and made a decision that day to always remind myself of that everyday of my life. I am sorry I have rambled and rambled but I felt like I needed to post my experience. So my conclusion to this story is...thank you kids at Primary Children's hospital for changing my life and helping me realize all that I have. And i encourage each and every one of you to be grateful for all you have and remind yourselves everyday. I am so grateful for this church and the temple. I am so grateful that i am worthy to go there and be as close as I can to our heavenly father as I can get right now. I love you all and thank you again for your warm wishes and prayers for our family at this time.